No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
