I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
