Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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