We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
