Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
