she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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