went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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