we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
