those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
