I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
