I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
