i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
