is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
