No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
