Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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