im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
