It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
