Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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