Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
