The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Four minutes until I can fart!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
