So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
