I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
