Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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