Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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