idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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