I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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