Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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