just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
