So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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