there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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