Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
