I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize