we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There are leaves in my underwear?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
