oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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