I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My pussy is not your playground.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize