Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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