dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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