Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
