There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
