I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize