Where are you?
In a non slutty way
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
