i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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