He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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