I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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