you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
