You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
