Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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