awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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