Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
