I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize