he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
