What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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