Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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