You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
