Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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