i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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