you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
