Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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