Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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