mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
