What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
